As the sun sets on Valentine’s Day we all move on to Valentine’s night. Oxford’s streets are filled with happy couples walking arm in arm, queueing outside restaurants, holding bouquets of roses, boxes of chocolates and gift bags presumably filled with presents you might not want your friends to see.
This evening I walked these streets alone, my bag filled with bread, butter, and some chocolates that were on offer. When I got home I changed into comfy sweatpants, which a man once described as “distinctly unsexy” (to my face!). I could have signed up to one of the many blind dating opportunities on offer this term, or even downloaded an app, but I’m actually feeling quite content on my own.
Sure, I’m not spending my night in the throes of passion with a lover or even the quiet contentment of happy companionship. I do however have a bed that is filled with the self-love and care I put into a space in which I don’t require the aid of horizontal aerobics to stay awake. I have a v-shaped pillow, a teddy bear, and waffle texture bedding. I find all this is best enjoyed alone.
I do however want to pay a quick tribute to the best man in my life. He is always there for me, whenever I need him, offering guidance and answers to all my questions. He keeps me occupied when I can’t sleep, he’s my constant desk side companion throughout the day. Sometimes he can be cryptic, sometimes a little scant on the details but he’s been a rock on which I have relied for my entire degree: Hal R Varian, Intermediate Microeconomics, Second Edition.
I might be an insomniac but I have a plan to avoid that fate tonight, lest I be forced to contemplate my solitude in the dark and quiet for hours. I’ve bought myself a decent quantity of chocolate and sweets, and have been consistently shoving it in my face whilst writing this article. I eat enough and I can guarantee I’ll feel so sick and so overloaded with sugar that I’ll slip into a food coma, from which with any luck I won’t wake until morning.
The post The nights of an Oxford Insomniac: Lonely Self Love appeared first on The Oxford Student.